Bonnie Tyler’s “Total Eclipse of the Heart” video VS. Lissette’s “Eclipse Total del Amore.” Who wins? We ran elements from each video through Wexley’s patented New NEW Super Scientific Ninja Math and found that Bonnie Tyler wins hands down due to her inclusion of leather daddies with the power of a wind machine.

That’s right… Leather daddies with the power of a wind machine beat out the sum of glitter dresses, emotional face cupping, ninjas, possessed choir boys, Lissette and even Bonnie Tyler herself.

We’re not kidding - it’s science. Click on the picture above to check out the equation in detail. We showed our work.