Here it is. Just in time to kick off the New Year, a tour of our new office space. The architectural details are simple to get out of the way — about 7,000 square feet (US), which is like 10,000 kilograms if you are using the metric system. We have two stories, creating a dangerously fantastic two-layer cake of awesome.

There is a crew of contributors too long to mention, but the key players know who they are and we’ll see you in heaven when we get up there. We’ve elected to keep them anonymous for fear of someone else encroaching on our quality time, but if you really really really need to know because you are putting in a back deck or even better a terrarium or rain garden, just give us a call and we’ll give you a suspect phone number.

Also, despite the best efforts of Eastman, Kodak and Thomas Edison, the true fabulosity [clearly “fabulosity” is a better made-up word than “fabulousity,” and is easier to pronounce as well] of the most amazing agency in the universe cannot be captured by any electronic, manual or pinhole device. You’ll need to come visit. Fair warning, though. If you think you may become pregnant (male or female), bring your own contraception. There’s every possibility you’ll leave here knocked up with an embryo of amazement in your uterus.

As you scroll through the pictures, let us answer some general questions before you even ask: Yes. Don’t kid yourself. Yeah, that’s what she said. No, you couldn’t, so don’t even try.
And now some specifics.

Indeed, that’s a 9-foot-tall chainsaw-art grizzly bear. Yes, those are workable desks as part of a 9-hole putt-putt golf course. Of course every desk in the sweatshop comes with a sewing machine. Uh huh, we did turn that baby grand piano into a conference table. Don’t be dumb, it still plays. We knocked down an exterior wall and put in a garage door, that’s how the camper trailer got in there. There are 78 rubber chickens in the Chinese restaurant. Other than that, all questions can be answered with “What did you think, this is Wexley, not (insert whatever other company you want here). Duh.”

The one thing you’ll notice is a lack of mirrors. Our own overwhelming sexiness caused us to be mesmerized by ourselves, so we took them down. Plus, when you are carrying the collective looks we display, a mirror is just a waste of time. We know how hot we are, and are long past the need for constant reaffirmation. Snap out of it. See, we almost lost you there just thinking about how hot we must be. Welcome back.

Now enjoy the tour.

Tags: awesomeness, contraception, prowler, rubber chickens, sweatshop, uterus

This entry was posted on Friday, January 4th, 2008 at 1:53 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.